Parshas Bechukosai
Even in the Struggles
אִם־בְּחֻקֹּתַ֖י תֵּלֵ֑כוּ וְאֶת־מִצְוֹתַ֣י תִּשְׁמְר֔וּ וַֽעֲשִׂיתֶ֖ם אֹתָֽם
If you walk in My statutes (chukim) and observe (tishmru). My commandments and perform them…(Vayikra 26:3)
Every yid will go through countless cycles in his life. The Seforim HaKedoshim refer to these cycles by different names, but they all represent the same process. There are times of Mochin D’katnus (a diminishing of the mind) and Mochin D’gadlus (an expansion of the mind). Mochin D’gadlus are times of incredible inspiration, when a yid feels connected to his Yiddishkeit, to the Torah and mitzvos. Times when the yid feels a sense of fulfillment in his Avodas Hashem, when they have an intense joy. They are in the flow of life, the true life, feeling the limitless possibilities someone can tap into when they are connected to Hashem.
However, those times are not meant to last. Every yid will experience an ebb and flow in their Avodas Hashem. The sense of Aliyah will fade. And, a person will start to feel distant, disconnected and lost. Their drive to serve Hashem with a complete heart, with a sense of joy, will fade. We will struggle. This is the phase referred to as the Mochin D’katnus.
The Kamarna Ruv in Nesiv Mitzvosecha (Nesiv Emunah) brings down from the Baal Shem Tov that even the greatest tzaddikim will experience these ebbs and flows. Moreover, explained the Baal Shem Tov, the thrust of our reward stems from the avodah – which is solely driven by a pure emunah- that we do in these moments of difficulty, of challenge.
The purpose of those moments of constriction are solely for the sake of growth. How can we grow in those moments? When a yid pushes through, seeking Hashem even amid his own darkness. When a yid perseveres and remains steadfast in his commitment, then he builds a stronger connection and eventually obtains an even more lofty, more inspired existence. The force that can drive a person to break free of that constriction, to reach beyond the limitations of the difficulties in his life and connect to Hashem, is emunah, faith.
When a person believes with the utmost pure faith that everything in this world has a purpose and every moment is guided by Hashem’s Hashgacha Pratis, then he internalizes the reality that this constriction, this darkness, also serves a purpose. That faith draws light into that darkness transforming the constriction into expansion, hardship into serenity, decline into growth.
The Panim Yafos and Zera Kodesh in this week’s parsha explain that there are two categories of mitzvos. There are those that we can understand. They make sense to us. On the other hand, there are mitzvos that are completely beyond our intellectual grasp. It is easy to be excited about mitzvos that you can understand and can “get into”. They are inspiring and enjoyable.
Then there are mitzvos that are beyond our understanding, that are classified as chukim. Those mitzvos might feel difficult to relate to. It is hard to get enthusiastic about performing them. They might lack that joy, that fervor. However, as the Seforim Hakedoshim explain, it is those very mitzvos, those chukim, that truly define the avodah of a yid in this world. Those mitzvos are performed not because they are enjoyable, not because you can understand why we must do them, but solely because they are the Will of Hashem. The motivation behind understandable mitzvos can become self-serving and diluted. With chukim, however, the motivation is always clear: they are performed because we have emunah that they are Hashem’s Will. They are the expression of emunah peshuta, simple faith. They are ideal.
These categories of mitzvos and the avodah that surrounds them correspond to the phases in one’s life we mentioned above: the Mochin D’katnus and the Mochin D’gadlus. This is possibly the avodah our pasuk is teaching us:
“If you follow (walk in) My statutes (chukim)…” There are times in our life when we cannot understand why we face challenges, why we struggle, why we find it so difficult to connect to our Yiddishkeit. Times when all the enjoyment has vanished, when all of our Avodas Hashem feels like it lacks purpose and reasoning. Those are times aligned with the chukim. And, like the chukim, we must lean into our emunah, to seek out and strengthen that faith. To keep “following” and seeking after the emunah embedded in observing chukim. If a yid can push through, can lean into that emunah, Hashem will help him break free of that yeridah.
As the pasuk continues, “observe (tishmru) My commandments.” The word shomer can mean “to keep” or “safeguard” – like the simple understanding of our pasuk. But, it can also mean to “anticipate” and “look forward” to something like it says in Breishis (37:11), “but his father awaited (shomer) the matter.” When you allow your emunah to motivate you to keep walking forward through that difficulty, eventually Hashem will restore you to an even higher level, where you once again “anticipate” and “look forward” to the mitzvos.
And, you will experience “rains in their time.” The word for rains is related to “gashmiyos” – physicality. Rain is the beginning of sustenance for everything physical in this world. Everything we experience in this world has its proper time. The lows and the highs. The challenges and the successes. When we go through this process of Mochin D’katnus and Mochin D’gadlus we will receive the greatest bracha which is to realize and internalize that everything in our physical space has its proper time, the ups and the downs. And, that this is a continual process for our ultimate good.
Therefore, rain is written in its plural form. This cycle won’t happen once in your lifetime, but multiple times. This continual process is also alluded to by the first three words of the pasuk: אִם־בְּחֻקֹּתַ֖י תֵּלֵ֑כוּ . The last letter of each word spells “יום“. This is our avodah every single day: to learn to live with this reality.
Finding Your Path
The Midrash (Breishis Rabba 35:1) teaches: “I considered my ways (darchai) and I returned my feet to Your testimonies. (Tehilim 119:59). In this verse, Dovid HaMelech was saying, “Master of the Universe! Each and every day I would plan and say to myself, ;I am going to this place and that residence, but my feet would lead me to the synagogues and study halls.’”
How can we understand this? What was Dovid HaMelech teaching us?
The Sefas Emes has a beautiful insight that explains this Midrash in a way that speaks to the core of our role in this world.
It says in Tehilim (37:23), “By Hashem are a man’s footsteps established and He shall favor his way (v’darko).” R’ Chaim Vital teaches in the name of his Rebbe, the Arizal, that every yid’s neshama comes into this world with a very specific purpose, a mission for being here. This purpose alone is the reason that person was created. He goes further and explains this purpose is completely individualized. You have to accomplish something in Hashem’s design and no one else has even or will ever be able to accomplish it.
The pathways to your purpose, to your entire reason for living are etched on your neshama like a fingerprint. Within yourself is the roadmap to your success. The Sefas Emes calls these etchings “drachim” – pathways. This is what the pasuk in Tehilim is teaching us: Hashem has established footsteps for you, within your neshama, and it is those paths that are favored. This is the avodah to constantly be seeking your unique path in Avodas Hashem, your role in this world.
This is what the Midrash means: Dovid HaMelech would consider his paths, his strengths, his weaknesses, all the elements of his life. And, his feet always returned him to “Hashem’s testimonies”. Since Dovid lived a life of a seeker, then no matter where he was or what he was doing, it was considered as if he was in shul or the Beis Medresh. He brought that kedusha into all every element of his life. His life permeated his purpose.
Our pasuk is teaching us this very lesson and it is why this midrash teaches us this here specifically. The Hebrew word for etching is “chakikah”. Therefore, the pasuk is expressing: ““If you follow (walk in) My statutes…” The Hebrew word for statutes here is “bechukosai” – the same root word as “chakikah”. When you journey through life, through your avodah with a focus on the “etches” that are unique to your neshama, then you can merit to keep Hashem’s mitzvos, as the pasuk continues.
Hashem is constantly sending us helpful hints. Everything in your life is meant to serve as signs along the highway to fulfilling your purpose. Therefore, the reward for this behavior is “rains in their time.” As mentioned above, the word for rain is rooted in the same word as “gashmiyos”. Hashem sends you physical hints to help you along the way. And it is plural because there are many of them. They always come at the right moment, in “their time”.
Your talents, your family, your community, everything that orbits your physical existence is a hint to help you achieve your purpose for being here.
